And Nothing Makes Me Happy, Not Even T.V. or a Bunch of Weed

Gahhh I'm just in a foul mood right now and I just need to vent. Is that okay for all of my like 2 readers?? Ha. Sorry.

This is how I feel about pretty much every aspect of life right now. I feel like I've just been frantically running around trying to please everyone in my life and then they just sort of don't do the same in return. My boyfriend and my sister have been all bickery and passive aggressive with each other and I'm so over it. I just want them both caring about me to be enough for them to make the effort. When they don't, I'm constantly being pulled in two different directions and while it might be fine for them to just pass me around like a rag doll, it's exhausting for me. And it keeps me from being able to do what I want or even KNOW what I want for that matter because I'm constantly worried about upsetting them. So honestly, FUCK THAT. I know at the end of the day it's really just up to me to be strong enough to piss them off, but hopefully they'll realize how hard they're making it on me.

Until then I'll just cuddle this ridiculously perfect pup and cry like a drama queen baby loser...

On the upside, I did just turn 21 on Wednesday and had a pretty fab entrance into adulthood.

Top and Bottom from The Arc Thrift Store
Belt from Goodwill

Here I am being a model before class on the big day. The whole outfit just says "BIRTHDAY," doesn't it??

Left to Right: My Boulder babe, Lily; My southern belle, Woogie; My twinsicle, Dani

Jumpsuit from a stand on Venice Beach, CA
Also note the Rips in my hand. I certainly enjoyed them for the ten minutes they took to consume them and the hour or so they remained in my stomach...

One from the beginning of the night and one from the end, equally sloppy and adorable.

I also started my Advanced Poetry Writing Workshop this week... It's such an incredible opportunity to be able to take this class early and with such an amazing visiting professor (if you haven't heard of Jim Moore, look up his stuff immediately, he's a genius) and GAH it's var var intimidating. I'm trying to just shut myself up and not over-criticize and whatnot, but it's soSO hard not to think that my stuff just doesn't measure up. Maybe I'll post some poems on here soon or maybe I'll just be a coward 4eva?! Only time will tell my friends.

Secondhand Fantasy Land: Zine Edition

So for those of you who look at this blog that AREN'T my mom and my sister and therefore don't know everything about me, I'm a junior at Colorado College where we're on the block plan (as opposed to the semester plan). That basically just means that we take one class at a time, for three and a half weeks each. There are upsides and downsides, but it's definitely my preferred way to learn just because you can get so in depth into the class and just in time for you to get totally sick of it, you get to move on. Anyway, the point of all this is that my first block of the semester was pretty much the most amazing thing evereverEVER and it led to the creation of my first zine! The class was called, "Creativity: Theory and Practice" and it was taught by two amazing professors, one from sociology and one from poetry. It was basically all about the creative process and how it fits in (or doesn't really fit in) to society. Every day we would do some sort of creative exercise and have class discussions about all the different texts we read. In lieu of a final we all wrote research papers on some aspect of the creative process and complete our own creative project of our choosing. The best part about the whole thing was how open-ended it was so we could really make it into whatever we wanted. Creative projects ranged from interpretive cupcakes to postcard puzzles to defiant graffiti - it was just unlimited awesomeness. I wish I could show you guys all the incredible things people came up with! I can't do that, but I CAN share my project :). This blog has been a great place for me to express myself creatively and also a big part of me developing my own style philosophy, hence it was the perfect inspiration for my final project. It sucks because I feel like clothes can be the greatest form of expression, but a lot of the time we just buy the shit that stores or brands want to sell us. Anywayyy this zine is just my answer to that and hopefully it'll be the first of many! So without further adieu, here is Secondhand Fantasy Land - The Zine:

I hope you enjoy and if you want to contribute to any future zines, please let me know!!! And if you want to see the pages bigger, click HERE!

Clueless House on the Prarie

GAH worst blogger ever award goes to ME! But I swear I'm gonna be better from now on. I think I just needed a little time to decide where it is I really want this blog to go, and the truth is I still don't know! But I think that's okay. It's definitely gonna be a bit less uniform over here, which I hope you guys don't mind; maybe a bit more accepting of change so that I can keep figuring things out. I definitely have some really exciting stuff coming up though, so stay tuned!

Anywhoozle, back to the important stuff....CLOTHES OF COURSE!

Dress: Originally Urban Outfitters, thrifted from Goodwill for $6
Belt: The Arc Thrift Store $2
Boots: Someone actually left them in my dorm room last year and never claimed them...
Headband: Stolen from a friend...

I wore this the other day to class and to take my sister's new puppy, Milo to the vet. I also recently gave myself an impromptu haircut which I think works pretty nicely with the look, don't you? It is quite a deviation from both of my inspirations for this outfit, but I still think it works.

Do you see it? A little bit Laura Ingalls a little bit Cher Horrowitz. It makes sense in my head, so go with it.

There's Milo! Isn't he just heartbreakingly cute??

Mini backpack: #1 Accessory ever.

And there ya have it!

I'll be posting a lot more outfits in the near future, but hopefully in an even more fun way. I don't want to say too much, but just know I'm pumped for it and you should be too!