This is how I feel about pretty much every aspect of life right now. I feel like I've just been frantically running around trying to please everyone in my life and then they just sort of don't do the same in return. My boyfriend and my sister have been all bickery and passive aggressive with each other and I'm so over it. I just want them both caring about me to be enough for them to make the effort. When they don't, I'm constantly being pulled in two different directions and while it might be fine for them to just pass me around like a rag doll, it's exhausting for me. And it keeps me from being able to do what I want or even KNOW what I want for that matter because I'm constantly worried about upsetting them. So honestly, FUCK THAT. I know at the end of the day it's really just up to me to be strong enough to piss them off, but hopefully they'll realize how hard they're making it on me.
Until then I'll just cuddle this ridiculously perfect pup and cry like a drama queen baby loser...
On the upside, I did just turn 21 on Wednesday and had a pretty fab entrance into adulthood.
|Top and Bottom from The Arc Thrift Store|
Belt from Goodwill
Here I am being a model before class on the big day. The whole outfit just says "BIRTHDAY," doesn't it??
|Left to Right: My Boulder babe, Lily; My southern belle, Woogie; My twinsicle, Dani|
|Jumpsuit from a stand on Venice Beach, CA|
Also note the Rips in my hand. I certainly enjoyed them for the ten minutes they took to consume them and the hour or so they remained in my stomach...
One from the beginning of the night and one from the end, equally sloppy and adorable.
I also started my Advanced Poetry Writing Workshop this week... It's such an incredible opportunity to be able to take this class early and with such an amazing visiting professor (if you haven't heard of Jim Moore, look up his stuff immediately, he's a genius) and GAH it's var var intimidating. I'm trying to just shut myself up and not over-criticize and whatnot, but it's soSO hard not to think that my stuff just doesn't measure up. Maybe I'll post some poems on here soon or maybe I'll just be a coward 4eva?! Only time will tell my friends.